20th October 2018 – Deeside Ramblers 3s
With an absolutely barnstorming start to the season, the Saturday XI were full of positivity and confidence going into Deeside Ramblers at fortress Lancaster. The pitch was looking very flat, and with overcast conditions, this all indicated to Mel that the only choice would be to defer pushback to the second half.
Lancaster started with wonderful verve, with the forward line dovetailing beautifully to create acres of space for the midfield to slot passes into, Deeside in the first ten minutes offered about as much as an extra in a porno. Unfortunately Lancaster could not make use of this advantage and it took until the 25th minute for Dylan to take the ball around the keeper and into the net. This however inspired Deeside into becoming the lead actor, as they started to dominate play with their forwards commandeering a high line and strong biffs. This proved a successful tactic for them, as they broke through Lancaster’s obdurate central defence of Mel and Phil with brute force. With only a few minutes left until half time, both sides decided to see off the half with an air of calm. This however was interrupted by Bin, who had decided that some little twelvie was going to “get what was coming to him” with an unbelievable stick tackle that stunned the other 21 players and the capacity crowd. What a green card it was, and what an exciting way to finish the half.
To begin the second half, Lancaster started spritely, with patience emanating throughout the side, Fletch and Tom with some beautiful 1-2 exchanges, pushing the ball firmly up the pitch. Lancaster came close a number of times, with the rocket hitting the post and Pete shooting about 10 yards wide of the post from 3 yards out. VK-47 was rinsing the kiddie-winkles with naughty spins, and all seemed to be going well for Lancaster. The chaos press seemed to be working effectively, with Deeside having less of a clue what was occurring than Lancaster did, however, with interceptions left, right and centre keeping the pressure on Deeside. With the game lulling towards a boring draw, Bin decided that there needed to be some excitement to the game to keep things interesting. As Deeside’s midfielder decided that after the ball cannoning into his foot, the free hit was his, he decided to pump the ball down the line and into the corner, Bin was not happy. To quote directly would be NSFW, however the general gist was that this midfielder was a fucking cunt and that he should fuck right off for being a dirty cunt. Gail somehow did not find this outburst to be within the rules of the game, with Bin receiving a yellow card and the dirty cunt getting off scot free. However this gave Lancaster a burst of passion, with Bob striking the killer blow to Deeside with a cheeky deflection top bins and giving him the deserved Man of the Match award for such a great finish. Deeside struck back nearly instantly, with Mel taking a page out of Gaston’s book and using it to start a fire, with the forward taking a 1 on 1 with poise and biffing it into the backboard. Both sides pushed for a victory, and Pete somehow missed an open goal in the dying seconds to snatch the chance of victory away from Lancaster.
Lancaster would have been deserving victors on the day, however the multitude of Pete’s missed deemed that this would not be the case and therefore the score was 2-2, a real step down from the fantastic start that Lancaster had put together with 0 points from their first 4.
Man of the Match was Bob for a deflection so brilliant that would make a nun wet.
Dick of the Day was Bin for nearly getting a full set of cards.
With an absolutely barnstorming start to the season, the Saturday XI were full of positivity and confidence going into Deeside Ramblers at fortress Lancaster. The pitch was looking very flat, and with overcast conditions, this all indicated to Mel that the only choice would be to defer pushback to the second half.
Lancaster started with wonderful verve, with the forward line dovetailing beautifully to create acres of space for the midfield to slot passes into, Deeside in the first ten minutes offered about as much as an extra in a porno. Unfortunately Lancaster could not make use of this advantage and it took until the 25th minute for Dylan to take the ball around the keeper and into the net. This however inspired Deeside into becoming the lead actor, as they started to dominate play with their forwards commandeering a high line and strong biffs. This proved a successful tactic for them, as they broke through Lancaster’s obdurate central defence of Mel and Phil with brute force. With only a few minutes left until half time, both sides decided to see off the half with an air of calm. This however was interrupted by Bin, who had decided that some little twelvie was going to “get what was coming to him” with an unbelievable stick tackle that stunned the other 21 players and the capacity crowd. What a green card it was, and what an exciting way to finish the half.
To begin the second half, Lancaster started spritely, with patience emanating throughout the side, Fletch and Tom with some beautiful 1-2 exchanges, pushing the ball firmly up the pitch. Lancaster came close a number of times, with the rocket hitting the post and Pete shooting about 10 yards wide of the post from 3 yards out. VK-47 was rinsing the kiddie-winkles with naughty spins, and all seemed to be going well for Lancaster. The chaos press seemed to be working effectively, with Deeside having less of a clue what was occurring than Lancaster did, however, with interceptions left, right and centre keeping the pressure on Deeside. With the game lulling towards a boring draw, Bin decided that there needed to be some excitement to the game to keep things interesting. As Deeside’s midfielder decided that after the ball cannoning into his foot, the free hit was his, he decided to pump the ball down the line and into the corner, Bin was not happy. To quote directly would be NSFW, however the general gist was that this midfielder was a fucking cunt and that he should fuck right off for being a dirty cunt. Gail somehow did not find this outburst to be within the rules of the game, with Bin receiving a yellow card and the dirty cunt getting off scot free. However this gave Lancaster a burst of passion, with Bob striking the killer blow to Deeside with a cheeky deflection top bins and giving him the deserved Man of the Match award for such a great finish. Deeside struck back nearly instantly, with Mel taking a page out of Gaston’s book and using it to start a fire, with the forward taking a 1 on 1 with poise and biffing it into the backboard. Both sides pushed for a victory, and Pete somehow missed an open goal in the dying seconds to snatch the chance of victory away from Lancaster.
Lancaster would have been deserving victors on the day, however the multitude of Pete’s missed deemed that this would not be the case and therefore the score was 2-2, a real step down from the fantastic start that Lancaster had put together with 0 points from their first 4.
Man of the Match was Bob for a deflection so brilliant that would make a nun wet.
Dick of the Day was Bin for nearly getting a full set of cards.