2016/17
Indoor hockey gets Roses off to a perfect start
By Haggis
The boys arrived in enemy territory on Friday afternoon to find a brand spanking new sports facility awaiting them, with a blue carpet perfect for some liquid hockey. The Indoor 2nd XI were first up, hoping to replicate their heroic last-gasp win in 2016. Old man of the team Harry Carpenter had been promised by his parents that he wouldn't be allowed his normal Friday night bolognese if he didn't get on the scoresheet during the first game. Fortunately, the rest of the club didn't have to endure bolognese-less Ham's fury on Friday night, as he finished a sweeping move into the far corner with a deft flick to give the away side an early 1-0 lead. Bin encroached on a free hit soon after, and York dispatched the resultant short from a nicely-worked move to level the scores. The rest of the half saw some frantic action and serious inconsistencies from the umpiring team, with Kaiser and Gaston at the back bailing Lancaster out on a number of occasions. The usual LUMHC noise from the sidelines was only increased by the cavernous surroundings and the use of various hooligan paraphernalia, putting off several York players as they looked to release the trigger. An excellent steal from Dynamo at a York short marked the end of the first half with the score still at 1-1.
The second half started off in the worst possible way for the Red Rose, with another questionable umpiring decision leading to another well-worked York short corner and a goal. The Ultras in the away stand fell silent for a moment or so, not knowing this would be the last thing York would celebrate in this match. The experience of veteran Ham shone through at this point, as he carved open the home defence single-handedly and played a wonderful reverse pass to Dynamo, who finished through the keeper's legs to level the scores once again. Beryl Sesh-Penney, playing in only his third ever indoor game and some crepes that he'd found left on the Astros whilst on pre-pre-tour, was making a nuisance of himself and turned the game on its head inside the space of two minutes. Sneaking up on the blind side to pick the York player's pocket, he took the ball towards the sidelines on his reverse side, drawing the 'keeper in the process. With only a miniscule target in the far corner of the goal to aim at, Penney somehow found it with the deftest of reverse-flick finishes to put Lancaster back in front. Gaston was also causing all sorts of problems for York at the back, making some strong tackles on his reverse before sparking multiple counters with close control and accurate distribution. He was only denied a great goal on one occasion by a vicious stick tackle that rightly ended up with the York player being given his marching orders, with the umpires agreeing that there was no place in the modern game for such tomfoolery. The away side made the man advantage count, picking off the remaining York players one by one, before Gaston accelerated into the space and played in Penney, and, despite the defender's best attempt at unsportsmanlike conduct on the line, he couldn't keep it out. 4-2 Lancaster.
By this point in the game, LUMHC had found their rhythm and were merely toying with their opponents. Kaiser made a strong save from a York set piece, which set the Lancaster counter in motion as Chaz released Penney down the line. Sesh's ball into the proverbial Corridor of Uncertainty could not be met by the despairing dive of Stags to give the move the finish it deserved. The 2nd XI would get the 5th goal that their second half performance merited with the last touch of the game. Slow build-up round the back from Chaz and Gaston was akin to the lion stalking its prey, waiting for the right moment to strike. That moment came, Gaston exchanged passes with Ham before a gorgeous through the legs pass to Dynamo, who made no mistake to get his second and Lancaster's fifth. After a slow first half, the Red Rose really found their rhythm in the second half, with particularly dominant displays from Penney and Gaston, but the whole team played their part in a resolute first showing at Roses 2017.
UYHC Men's 2nd XI 2 - 5 LUMHC Indoor 2nd XI
Dynamo (2), Sesh-Penney (2), Ham
LUMHC Squad: Kaiser, Chaz, Gaston, Ham, Bin, Dynamo, Stags, Leggings, Sesh-Penney
The boys arrived in enemy territory on Friday afternoon to find a brand spanking new sports facility awaiting them, with a blue carpet perfect for some liquid hockey. The Indoor 2nd XI were first up, hoping to replicate their heroic last-gasp win in 2016. Old man of the team Harry Carpenter had been promised by his parents that he wouldn't be allowed his normal Friday night bolognese if he didn't get on the scoresheet during the first game. Fortunately, the rest of the club didn't have to endure bolognese-less Ham's fury on Friday night, as he finished a sweeping move into the far corner with a deft flick to give the away side an early 1-0 lead. Bin encroached on a free hit soon after, and York dispatched the resultant short from a nicely-worked move to level the scores. The rest of the half saw some frantic action and serious inconsistencies from the umpiring team, with Kaiser and Gaston at the back bailing Lancaster out on a number of occasions. The usual LUMHC noise from the sidelines was only increased by the cavernous surroundings and the use of various hooligan paraphernalia, putting off several York players as they looked to release the trigger. An excellent steal from Dynamo at a York short marked the end of the first half with the score still at 1-1.
The second half started off in the worst possible way for the Red Rose, with another questionable umpiring decision leading to another well-worked York short corner and a goal. The Ultras in the away stand fell silent for a moment or so, not knowing this would be the last thing York would celebrate in this match. The experience of veteran Ham shone through at this point, as he carved open the home defence single-handedly and played a wonderful reverse pass to Dynamo, who finished through the keeper's legs to level the scores once again. Beryl Sesh-Penney, playing in only his third ever indoor game and some crepes that he'd found left on the Astros whilst on pre-pre-tour, was making a nuisance of himself and turned the game on its head inside the space of two minutes. Sneaking up on the blind side to pick the York player's pocket, he took the ball towards the sidelines on his reverse side, drawing the 'keeper in the process. With only a miniscule target in the far corner of the goal to aim at, Penney somehow found it with the deftest of reverse-flick finishes to put Lancaster back in front. Gaston was also causing all sorts of problems for York at the back, making some strong tackles on his reverse before sparking multiple counters with close control and accurate distribution. He was only denied a great goal on one occasion by a vicious stick tackle that rightly ended up with the York player being given his marching orders, with the umpires agreeing that there was no place in the modern game for such tomfoolery. The away side made the man advantage count, picking off the remaining York players one by one, before Gaston accelerated into the space and played in Penney, and, despite the defender's best attempt at unsportsmanlike conduct on the line, he couldn't keep it out. 4-2 Lancaster.
By this point in the game, LUMHC had found their rhythm and were merely toying with their opponents. Kaiser made a strong save from a York set piece, which set the Lancaster counter in motion as Chaz released Penney down the line. Sesh's ball into the proverbial Corridor of Uncertainty could not be met by the despairing dive of Stags to give the move the finish it deserved. The 2nd XI would get the 5th goal that their second half performance merited with the last touch of the game. Slow build-up round the back from Chaz and Gaston was akin to the lion stalking its prey, waiting for the right moment to strike. That moment came, Gaston exchanged passes with Ham before a gorgeous through the legs pass to Dynamo, who made no mistake to get his second and Lancaster's fifth. After a slow first half, the Red Rose really found their rhythm in the second half, with particularly dominant displays from Penney and Gaston, but the whole team played their part in a resolute first showing at Roses 2017.
UYHC Men's 2nd XI 2 - 5 LUMHC Indoor 2nd XI
Dynamo (2), Sesh-Penney (2), Ham
LUMHC Squad: Kaiser, Chaz, Gaston, Ham, Bin, Dynamo, Stags, Leggings, Sesh-Penney
The 1st XI had a lot to live up to after the 2nd XI's result and performance, especially with the talents at their disposal. The play around the back by Mincey and Gearnose, both veterans of the indoor game, did not fill the away crowd with confidence in the early stages of the game, with both playing hospital passes to each other in the first few minutes, as York capitalised at the second time of asking to take a very early lead. However, this turned out to be a very cunning plan to lull the home side into a false sense of security. Impassioned by his watching family who had travelled all the way from sunny Spain, Bertie was the catalyst for the lads to spring into life, and his good work was only undone by Dryllan who missed a sitter at the back post. It wasn't long before Lancaster had levelled, with a few trademark Bertie body swerves sending his opponents to the shops, before he squared to best mate Buster, who gave the goalkeeper no chance with a finish high into the net. Brexit-voting Dryllan obviously had a problem with Spanish import Bertie taking his place in the starting line-up and wanted to show the immigrant how we do things in Great Britain. Bertie's drag flick from a short corner was only saved on the line by a foot, but Dryllan thought it only best to miss the resulting p-flick, just to let Bertie know who was in charge.
Another of LUMHC's foreign imports, Max, would atone for VK47's indiscretions a few moments later. A short was played straight to 2Chainz at right slip, and with the York keeper committed, he laid it off to Ron Germany, who slotted his flick past the postman to give Lancaster their first lead of the match. With their foot now firmly on the accelerator, the boys began to pull away from their inferior opposition, as Ron Germany won yet another short. Buster took 2Chainz's place at right slip, and when the ball was played straight to him, he needed no second invitation to stop the ball and scream it into the far left corner, with so much pace and accuracy that the 'keeper barely moved, and some spectators watching on the sidelines had to ask where the ball had gone. Halftime 3-1 to Lancaster, with many more on the way in the second half.
The boys had really found their stride at this point, and were pinging the ball across the court amongst themselves. Gearnose, Mincey and 2Chainz combined to win a short, and after a poor injection, VK47 did well to win another short. This second short was played to Whack Jelan, who put all 4 York defenders in the spin cycle, and, with his shot going over the line despite yet more unsportsmanlike conduct from York on the line, the umpire decided to give a stroke, which Buster promptly missed. Fortune favoured Jack at this point though, as his best mate Bertie helped him get over his relative slump, leaving him with a 1-on-1 opportunity with the goalkeeper. The cheers from the Lancaster crowd let the York 'keeper know that the ball was in the back of his net and Buster had completed his hat-trick. It was the Bertie and Buster show at this point, with both frolicking through the White Rose defence whenever they felt the need to, as Buster sent a drag just over to prolong York's agony momentarily. From a York short corner, Dylan the Creeper was out like a shot, and his block released Bertie, who sent the last defender to Spain with a shimmy before megsing the 'keeper.
A strange incident at the end of the match saw Dylan the Creeper given his marching orders for an innocuous-looking altercation, with his namesake Dylan Jordan taking his place for the penalty flick. Unable to save it, the score was 5-2 as the match came to an end. In all honesty, York were lucky that the scoreline was this close, given that Lancaster dominated bar the opening two minutes and even missed two flicks in the process. The fact that LUMHC outplayed their opponents so thoroughly must have had a mental influence on the results on Saturday, and the significance of picking up two wins at the start of Roses weekend cannot be underestimated. Massive congratulations must go to both teams, coaches Nick and Dan, and all of the supporters, who created a deafening atmosphere inside the arena. 2017 Roses Indoor hockey was certainly one to remember.
UYHC 1st XI 2 - 5 LUMHC Indoor 1st XI
Buster (3), Bertie, Ron Germany
LUMHC Squad: Dylan the Creeper, Gearnose, Mincey, Bertie, Buster, Ron Germany, 2Chainz, Dryllan, Phil
The 1st XI had a lot to live up to after the 2nd XI's result and performance, especially with the talents at their disposal. The play around the back by Mincey and Gearnose, both veterans of the indoor game, did not fill the away crowd with confidence in the early stages of the game, with both playing hospital passes to each other in the first few minutes, as York capitalised at the second time of asking to take a very early lead. However, this turned out to be a very cunning plan to lull the home side into a false sense of security. Impassioned by his watching family who had travelled all the way from sunny Spain, Bertie was the catalyst for the lads to spring into life, and his good work was only undone by Dryllan who missed a sitter at the back post. It wasn't long before Lancaster had levelled, with a few trademark Bertie body swerves sending his opponents to the shops, before he squared to best mate Buster, who gave the goalkeeper no chance with a finish high into the net. Brexit-voting Dryllan obviously had a problem with Spanish import Bertie taking his place in the starting line-up and wanted to show the immigrant how we do things in Great Britain. Bertie's drag flick from a short corner was only saved on the line by a foot, but Dryllan thought it only best to miss the resulting p-flick, just to let Bertie know who was in charge.
Another of LUMHC's foreign imports, Max, would atone for VK47's indiscretions a few moments later. A short was played straight to 2Chainz at right slip, and with the York keeper committed, he laid it off to Ron Germany, who slotted his flick past the postman to give Lancaster their first lead of the match. With their foot now firmly on the accelerator, the boys began to pull away from their inferior opposition, as Ron Germany won yet another short. Buster took 2Chainz's place at right slip, and when the ball was played straight to him, he needed no second invitation to stop the ball and scream it into the far left corner, with so much pace and accuracy that the 'keeper barely moved, and some spectators watching on the sidelines had to ask where the ball had gone. Halftime 3-1 to Lancaster, with many more on the way in the second half.
The boys had really found their stride at this point, and were pinging the ball across the court amongst themselves. Gearnose, Mincey and 2Chainz combined to win a short, and after a poor injection, VK47 did well to win another short. This second short was played to Whack Jelan, who put all 4 York defenders in the spin cycle, and, with his shot going over the line despite yet more unsportsmanlike conduct from York on the line, the umpire decided to give a stroke, which Buster promptly missed. Fortune favoured Jack at this point though, as his best mate Bertie helped him get over his relative slump, leaving him with a 1-on-1 opportunity with the goalkeeper. The cheers from the Lancaster crowd let the York 'keeper know that the ball was in the back of his net and Buster had completed his hat-trick. It was the Bertie and Buster show at this point, with both frolicking through the White Rose defence whenever they felt the need to, as Buster sent a drag just over to prolong York's agony momentarily. From a York short corner, Dylan the Creeper was out like a shot, and his block released Bertie, who sent the last defender to Spain with a shimmy before megsing the 'keeper.
A strange incident at the end of the match saw Dylan the Creeper given his marching orders for an innocuous-looking altercation, with his namesake Dylan Jordan taking his place for the penalty flick. Unable to save it, the score was 5-2 as the match came to an end. In all honesty, York were lucky that the scoreline was this close, given that Lancaster dominated bar the opening two minutes and even missed two flicks in the process. The fact that LUMHC outplayed their opponents so thoroughly must have had a mental influence on the results on Saturday, and the significance of picking up two wins at the start of Roses weekend cannot be underestimated. Massive congratulations must go to both teams, coaches Nick and Dan, and all of the supporters, who created a deafening atmosphere inside the arena. 2017 Roses Indoor hockey was certainly one to remember.
UYHC 1st XI 2 - 5 LUMHC Indoor 1st XI
Buster (3), Bertie, Ron Germany
LUMHC Squad: Dylan the Creeper, Gearnose, Mincey, Bertie, Buster, Ron Germany, 2Chainz, Dryllan, Phil
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