Another Wednesday, another title. This time the 2nd XI secured the 4A crown with an impressive 4-0 win over Salford, more on that below. Whilst the 3rd XI lost to Bolton, LUMHC was the real winner, as it was club legend Cletus who scored the winner and generally ran the game for the away side. Then on Saturday the 1st XI fought their way back into the Saturday League promotion race, more on that below as well
Wednesday's match reports
2nd XI seal promotion to 3A for first time in their history
Two goals from Draco, and one apiece for Haggis and Hopeless were enough for the 2nd XI to emerge victorious from their crunch tie with title-challengers Salford, meaning that they could celebrate after the game with a bottle of prosecco kindly donated by no. 1 Ultra Mr. Hall. Whilst the boys haven't needed to be at their best at some points in the season to see off the opposition, this is perhaps more of a testament to the skill levels of the team. Performances before Christmas may not have been up to the high standards that were expected, but particularly in the two recent crunch games away against Manchester and Salford, the class of Hopeless' band of merry men has shone through. However, standards need to be upped as the season nears its conclusion, as firstly a 100% league record can be secured with a win over Salford in the final league game of the season, whilst York will pose a much sterner test than the opposition have done in 4A this season.
Exciting year ahead under the tutelage of Chairman SCENES
Arguably the biggest night in the club's calendar occurred on Saturday, as the Exec for the 2017/18 season was decided. First up was the position of chairman, with big boots to fill, trying to replicate the chairmanship of Chairman Wow. In an incredibly close vote, and with good arguments put across by Jolly, Hopeless and Dylscoop, Dylan eventually came out victorious to secure the chairman's position for the upcoming season. Next up was vice-chair, with DJ Boris beating Jedi and Jolly to the role, helped by some very innovative ideas for the Development Squad and a final slide which certainly roasted a few chestnuts.
The evening soon turned to electing captains, as Bertie and Buster put forward their reasons why they should be the successor to Gaston, with Buster's manifesto point of kicking Bertie out of the country if he won seeing him win the day in the end. Interesting presentations from Conrad and Kaiser were fairly mild compared to the absolute filth that Chris served up to win the 2nd XI title, but then again Chris had nothing on Anders' presentation, which definitely overstepped the mark on a number of occasions. Fairly tinnied by this point, the proceedings were halted for a minute so that the club's Fast Five could be decided in preparation for the Roses boat race. The biggest surprise of the evening was still to come, as Chags saw off indomitable duo Eileen and Alvin to secure the role of Health and Safety. Chags himself admits he was a nobody in the club until a week ago, at which point he was given the nickname of Chags and his publicity campaign for the role was done by Bellend and Bambi throughout the week all over social media. Zaki handed Eileen his second L of the night, as he beat the American Football Twitter guru to the role of treasurer.
It was then decided that proceedings should be halted, and a two-day interlude took place, before the final few positions could be husted for. With Chairman Dylscoop already putting the work in behind the SCENES (pun intended), his first action as chairman-elect was to deem that three social secs were necessary for the upcoming year. This gave Jedi the chance to slide in amongst unbreakable pair Pugh and Beryl, and his hust from Wetherspoons in Leeds proved to be a winning one, although the Leeds lad had already pre-emptively celebrated with LUWHC 1st XI vice-captain-elect Nige on Saturday night. For the final position, but arguably most important position, Maisie beat off fierce competition to land the unfortunate role of trying to replace the irreplaceable, and stamp his authority on the Propaganda side of LUMHSCENES.
Exec in full:
Dylan Jordan - Chairman
Cal Simpson - Vice-chair
Jack Whelan - 1st XI captain
Chris Hall - 2nd XI captain
Francis Gurman - 3rd XI captain
Matt Tomlinson - Health and Safety Officer
Zaki Jaffri - Treasurer
Christian Penney, Ollie Pugh and Elliot Mason - social secs
Harry Ryder Wells - Propaganda Minister
The evening soon turned to electing captains, as Bertie and Buster put forward their reasons why they should be the successor to Gaston, with Buster's manifesto point of kicking Bertie out of the country if he won seeing him win the day in the end. Interesting presentations from Conrad and Kaiser were fairly mild compared to the absolute filth that Chris served up to win the 2nd XI title, but then again Chris had nothing on Anders' presentation, which definitely overstepped the mark on a number of occasions. Fairly tinnied by this point, the proceedings were halted for a minute so that the club's Fast Five could be decided in preparation for the Roses boat race. The biggest surprise of the evening was still to come, as Chags saw off indomitable duo Eileen and Alvin to secure the role of Health and Safety. Chags himself admits he was a nobody in the club until a week ago, at which point he was given the nickname of Chags and his publicity campaign for the role was done by Bellend and Bambi throughout the week all over social media. Zaki handed Eileen his second L of the night, as he beat the American Football Twitter guru to the role of treasurer.
It was then decided that proceedings should be halted, and a two-day interlude took place, before the final few positions could be husted for. With Chairman Dylscoop already putting the work in behind the SCENES (pun intended), his first action as chairman-elect was to deem that three social secs were necessary for the upcoming year. This gave Jedi the chance to slide in amongst unbreakable pair Pugh and Beryl, and his hust from Wetherspoons in Leeds proved to be a winning one, although the Leeds lad had already pre-emptively celebrated with LUWHC 1st XI vice-captain-elect Nige on Saturday night. For the final position, but arguably most important position, Maisie beat off fierce competition to land the unfortunate role of trying to replace the irreplaceable, and stamp his authority on the Propaganda side of LUMHSCENES.
Exec in full:
Dylan Jordan - Chairman
Cal Simpson - Vice-chair
Jack Whelan - 1st XI captain
Chris Hall - 2nd XI captain
Francis Gurman - 3rd XI captain
Matt Tomlinson - Health and Safety Officer
Zaki Jaffri - Treasurer
Christian Penney, Ollie Pugh and Elliot Mason - social secs
Harry Ryder Wells - Propaganda Minister
1st XI back in Saturday League promotion contention
Having lost a few weeks ago to promotion rivals Rochdale, at that point it seemed as if the 1st XI's promotion ambitions would not be realised. Coming up against league leaders Didsbury 3s, they knew that they needed a result against the newly-crowned champions if they were to stand any chance in the battle against Rochdale. A goal early in the first half from Dynamo saw the home side enter the break in front. Both teams appeared to let loose after half-time, with Lancaster pegged back twice in quick succession, both times after extending their lead to two goals, with fresher pair Draco and Pete Mansfield getting on the scoresheet. With time winding down, international star player Jedi Fingers was cruelly denied a substitute appearance by captain Gaston, even after travelling all the way from Germany for the opportunity. As the final whistle went to confirm the 3-2 Lancaster victory, word circulated that Rochdale had only drawn their game 4-4, meaning that the 1st XI have a slight chance heading into the final two games of the season, as they are one point ahead of Rochdale, although they have a game in hand. Congratulations to 2nd XI players Ted and Draco who made the step up to the 1st XI, with Ted putting in a good shift to earn the man-of-the-match award.
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Record-breaking Gallon Challenge
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With the 2nd XI's bus driver having no clue how to drive a bus whatsoever, social sec Chris and the rest of the 2nd XI returned to Lancaster later than expected, which, along with a number of other factors, resulted in a chaotic beginning to Gallon Challenge. However, everyone was settled by 8.30 to begin the annual ritual. Pre-tournament favourites Dylscoop, Liam and Bellend all started strongly, and were in a good position to attempt the record, with 5 pints downed after 20 minutes. However, their pace slowed considerably at this point, and a dark horse emerged from the Bentley's shadows. Finishing off his final 3 pints at a fair old rate of knots meant that Bambi was the winner of this year's Gallon Challenge, with a time of 25:49, which also in fact broke the record that has stood since 2004, a remarkable achievement from a man whose social talents have only recently emerged. A number of other members finished the challenge within the two hours, whilst a lot didn't, but it was all immaterial at that point, as they were all there to witness a historic night in the club's history.
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The Week Ahead
A bit of a quiet one this week, as the 1st and 2nd XI build up to their final league games of the season next Wednesday. The 1st XI have a top-class friendly lined up against Preston 1s on Thursday night which should be a good spectacle, whilst they face off against Preston's 3rd team in Saturday League this weekend. They'll all be celebrating either way at VK World Cup on Saturday, with Mincey looking to retain his title.