An impressive start for the 2s as they put 4 past an inferior Keele team
It was a sunny day for once at Lancaster University for the 2s league debut against Keele 1s. These conditions gave Lancaster the clear home advantage, Keele coming from the whirling maelstrom that is Stoke which stops them from playing literally any home game, due to poor conditions. This advantage was felt early on with Jamie passing the ball to back post from inside the D for the opener, 1-0 Lancaster. The Keele keeper protested, his vision clearly altered by being continuously pelted by rainwater in Stoke.
Lancaster generally kept possession but Keele did win some early shorts. On the side-line Keele players could be heard saying ‘let Craig take it.’ I can’t remember Craig’s actual name, but he had lovely, long flowing hair, and a bandana to keep it out of his perfect, unblemished face. This obviously gave the impression that that he was an demon drag flicker. It became obvious this was a clear false call as he ended the game with the unenviable stat of 0 goals from 4 or 5 shorts, and sometimes he didn’t even try to take the flick.
Early action continued thanks to Chips, on his 2s debut, getting to back post to secure the 2s second goal with a simple tap-in. Thus, Chips broke his scoring record for the 3s, which looked unapproachable at 0.
After this the half calmed down. Therefore in order to get the crowd hyped, Stotty took it upon himself to aerial every 16 he could. He then attempted to mix it up by running past two Keele players instead, but then preceded to lose it. Fortunately, Keele could not hack it in an environment where the sun actually manages to reach the ground and Stotty’s mistake resulted in nothing for them. Jordan was also putting in some very nice last-man tackles, at 2-0 going into the second half.
The second half preceded with Lancaster continuing to produce the majority of the attacks, mainly coming from excellent use of width, transferring it round the back and finding the wingers. Keele were generally kept in their half due to an encouraging press that was set up by Lancaster’s forwards and midfield. Eventually the press did its job as Lancaster won a short. This was slapped into the back of the net by Crash which was definitely on purpose and the way the short was meant to work, making it 3-0 Lancs.
It was not a complete route as Keele did have some decent players, and Chags was called into service every now and again in his sublime debut as a goalkeeper on a Wednesday. He dealt with each shot with panache, as expected by an inhabitant of flat 2, 5 Queen Street, clearing loose balls and kicking balls back at Keele players feet. He also saved a reverse hit once. Baguetti, not willing to just embarrass his opposite man, decided to slap a reverse into a Keele defender, the power of being the 2s VC getting to his once innocent head. Baguetti did however apologize later and his unsuspecting victim replied ‘It’s nothing, at home we continuously have to deal with hailstones the size of footballs, so I now feel nothing.’
As the game reached neared its end Luke got a green for not getting 5. Rumour also has it that Stotty also got a green at some point because of a ‘tactical foul’ or something like that. All these abuses of the rules did not reduce Lancaster’s game though, a lovely long ball down the right found Ben who crossed it to Jamie to set up his 2nd, and Lancaster’s 4th and final goal, sealing a comfortable 4-0 win.
It was a game that showed great promise from the 2s, who displayed excellent work rate as midfielders and forwards subbing off regularly, having ran their socks off. It would be interesting to see how the Nelson’s team progress throughout the year and how different the return fixture would be, but it’s in Keele so it’s not going to happen. The 2s now have a few weeks break from the league. Their next game is in two weeks’ time against maybe Edge Hill 1s if BUCS Play is to be believed.
Man of the Match: went to Sam for doing bits down the left
Dick of the Day: James for the self-voting. What an idiot.
Match Report by James and Anders
It was a sunny day for once at Lancaster University for the 2s league debut against Keele 1s. These conditions gave Lancaster the clear home advantage, Keele coming from the whirling maelstrom that is Stoke which stops them from playing literally any home game, due to poor conditions. This advantage was felt early on with Jamie passing the ball to back post from inside the D for the opener, 1-0 Lancaster. The Keele keeper protested, his vision clearly altered by being continuously pelted by rainwater in Stoke.
Lancaster generally kept possession but Keele did win some early shorts. On the side-line Keele players could be heard saying ‘let Craig take it.’ I can’t remember Craig’s actual name, but he had lovely, long flowing hair, and a bandana to keep it out of his perfect, unblemished face. This obviously gave the impression that that he was an demon drag flicker. It became obvious this was a clear false call as he ended the game with the unenviable stat of 0 goals from 4 or 5 shorts, and sometimes he didn’t even try to take the flick.
Early action continued thanks to Chips, on his 2s debut, getting to back post to secure the 2s second goal with a simple tap-in. Thus, Chips broke his scoring record for the 3s, which looked unapproachable at 0.
After this the half calmed down. Therefore in order to get the crowd hyped, Stotty took it upon himself to aerial every 16 he could. He then attempted to mix it up by running past two Keele players instead, but then preceded to lose it. Fortunately, Keele could not hack it in an environment where the sun actually manages to reach the ground and Stotty’s mistake resulted in nothing for them. Jordan was also putting in some very nice last-man tackles, at 2-0 going into the second half.
The second half preceded with Lancaster continuing to produce the majority of the attacks, mainly coming from excellent use of width, transferring it round the back and finding the wingers. Keele were generally kept in their half due to an encouraging press that was set up by Lancaster’s forwards and midfield. Eventually the press did its job as Lancaster won a short. This was slapped into the back of the net by Crash which was definitely on purpose and the way the short was meant to work, making it 3-0 Lancs.
It was not a complete route as Keele did have some decent players, and Chags was called into service every now and again in his sublime debut as a goalkeeper on a Wednesday. He dealt with each shot with panache, as expected by an inhabitant of flat 2, 5 Queen Street, clearing loose balls and kicking balls back at Keele players feet. He also saved a reverse hit once. Baguetti, not willing to just embarrass his opposite man, decided to slap a reverse into a Keele defender, the power of being the 2s VC getting to his once innocent head. Baguetti did however apologize later and his unsuspecting victim replied ‘It’s nothing, at home we continuously have to deal with hailstones the size of footballs, so I now feel nothing.’
As the game reached neared its end Luke got a green for not getting 5. Rumour also has it that Stotty also got a green at some point because of a ‘tactical foul’ or something like that. All these abuses of the rules did not reduce Lancaster’s game though, a lovely long ball down the right found Ben who crossed it to Jamie to set up his 2nd, and Lancaster’s 4th and final goal, sealing a comfortable 4-0 win.
It was a game that showed great promise from the 2s, who displayed excellent work rate as midfielders and forwards subbing off regularly, having ran their socks off. It would be interesting to see how the Nelson’s team progress throughout the year and how different the return fixture would be, but it’s in Keele so it’s not going to happen. The 2s now have a few weeks break from the league. Their next game is in two weeks’ time against maybe Edge Hill 1s if BUCS Play is to be believed.
Man of the Match: went to Sam for doing bits down the left
Dick of the Day: James for the self-voting. What an idiot.
Match Report by James and Anders